Crystal Counseling and Coaching

How to Figure Out What You Want in a Relationship

Searching for a partner and figuring out what you want in a romantic relationship is much more difficult than you might think. Unfortunately, it is not as easy as deciding you want a romantic partner and going from there.

Before diving into a romantic relationship, it is probably a good idea to figure out what you want in it. But how should you go about doing this? Fortunately, I am here to help. Keep reading to figure out what you want out of your relationships.

List Out What Qualities Your Dream Partner Possesses

To find out what you want from a relationship, first, figure out what you want your dream partner to be. While it may sound a bit juvenile, try listing out all of the qualities your ideal partner would possess. This is a time to dream big; no detail is too small to include.

From here, you can begin to search for partners that match this description. For example, if you begin dating and realize the partner you have been seeing does not align with many of your ideal qualities, perhaps they are not the person for you. Of course, be sure to follow this list with a grain of salt. Sometimes, love can come from the most unsuspecting of places, and you should keep your heart open.

Imagine Your Ideal Relationship

Now that you have taken the time to dream up your ideal partner, you can begin to think about what your perfect relationship would look like. To preface: no relationship is perfect all the time. As much as movies and books might lead us to believe, every relationship has its own unique struggles.

This being said, you should still take the time to think about what a perfect relationship is to you. Do you cook meals together, or do you order in? Do you like to spend time together alone or in groups of people? Once you know what perfection is to you, you can make strides to achieve that.

Then, Imagine Who You are in Your Dream Relationship 

Before diving into this section, I want to make one thing clear: in order to be in a relationship and feel love, you do not have to change who you are. You are completely deserving of joy and happiness just as you are right now.

That being said, perhaps the version of yourself in an ideal relationship has qualities you currently do not possess. Maybe you are a better listener, or you perform more acts of service for your partner. Whatever it is, you can take measures to instill those qualities in yourself through practice, guidance, or other means.

How to be a Better Partner

Half of being in a happy, healthy relationship is being the best partner you can be. Looking to be a better partner? Here are a few tips:

  • Work on listening skills: Nothing is more upsetting than speaking to a partner you feel is not truly listening. Implement active listening to show your partner you truly care!
  • Prioritize communication: Communication is key to every relationship. You should always feel comfortable telling your partner how you feel.
  • Show them you care: Actions speak louder than words. Show your partner you care in addition to telling them.

If you are struggling with self-love or having difficulty in the romance department, seeing a therapist may not be a bad idea. Counseling can help you in almost every aspect of your life, and I encourage you to seek it out. Take a look through my website to see if you think we would be a good match. If you do, reach out today.