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Are you struggling to meet the right person—someone who will hold, understand, and accept you?
Do you find yourself running into the same relationship issues or unhealthy patterns no matter who you are with?
Are looking for help and guidance navigating life on your own after a painful breakup or divorce?
Perhaps you are in a committed relationship, but arguments, poor communication, and a general sense of being unheard are creating distance between you and your partner. Or maybe you are married but questioning you and your spouse’s future together because of finances, secrets, infidelity, or intimacy issues. Relationship counseling can help.
People run into relationship problems for all sorts of reasons. You may be struggling to meet someone you connect with, so you beat yourself up, thinking that there is something wrong with you. Or if you are in a blended family, integrating new family members and reconciling differences in parenting styles can cause a lot of stress and tension.
Different expectations for the relationship often create unique challenges for couples with mixed racial or cultural backgrounds. And if you are in a Neurodiverse (Autism/ASD) relationship or marriage, you may be struggling to navigate the nuances of your partner’s behaviors or needs.
Just because you are experiencing relationship problems doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you; you just need a little guidance. And that is what I am here for—to show you that you are valued and worthy of love. With the communication and conflict resolution skills I offer, you can improve your relationship and learn to compromise while still remaining true to yourself.
The majority of people eventually find themselves at some sort of an impasse in relationships—it’s just natural. Unfortunately, most couples and individuals simply don’t understand how difficult relationships can be, nor do they have the inherent skills to manage conflict. After all, we all have different family dynamics, backgrounds, and expectations of what a relationship should be like. Many feel that a significant other should complete them while others feel that a significant other is responsible for filling the emotional voids they often feel.
The fact is, being in a marriage or relationship requires giving up a portion of yourself while not losing yourself entirely. But with today’s lifestyle, people are spread so thin between working, raising kids, being a good partner, and pursuing personal goals that they don’t have anything left to give.
Additionally, many men face evolving expectations for what it means to be a good father, husband, and provider in the ever-changing landscape of masculinity and gender roles. And a majority of women just want to relax, find balance, and be valued in relationships but ultimately feel unacknowledged and under-appreciated.
Though social media makes it seem like everyone has the perfect relationship, it’s simply not true. Different upbringings, beliefs, and expectations in addition to possible cultural, gender (LGBTQ), and neurodiversity issues can contribute to difficulties finding someone to connect with. Those challenges also add layers of potential issues that complicate many relationships—without you realizing it.
However, there is a way to overcome obstacles and find common ground. With my help, you can get to the core of your challenges and achieve change that will benefit you, your partner, and the future of your relationships.
The unfortunate reality is that these days people have unrealistic expectations for relationships and often look for the perfect partner to meet all their needs. But one person simply can’t do that because each individual brings a unique set of flaws, needs, and dynamics to the table.
Relationship counseling helps you identify and develop a realistic view of those challenges so that you can tackle the core issue rather than the symptoms it presents. It allows you to communicate your feelings, be heard, and ultimately gain a new perspective that stops the cycles you keep getting stuck in. In time, each of you can feel more balanced, relaxed, and understood.
Reaching out for help and opening up is already hard enough, especially for couples in conflict. That’s why I’ll meet you where you are at in your struggles with a relaxed, impartial approach that is free of judgment. That being said, one of the qualities that makes me unique as a couples therapist is that I won’t shy away from holding each person accountable for the dynamics that they bring to the relationship.
To sort of peel away the layers and get to the core of what’s going on, we’ll begin our time together by examining your background. We’ll look at your childhood, family dynamics, and past relationships that have and have not been successful. I’ll help you identify what truly makes you happy—and what doesn’t—so that you know what you are really looking for in a relationship. And we’ll explore the overarching question of What do you want out of life? and determine if that inward desire mirrors what you are seeking outwardly.
My compassionate yet realistic approach to counseling focuses on creating solutions and cultivating acceptance for both couples and individuals. I can help you manage problems related to communication, intimacy, or infidelity. And we can begin to work through relational wounds stemming from your childhood that may affect how you connect with people now as well as the types of people that you seem to be attracting.
If you are in a mixed-race, multicultural, or LGBTQ relationship/marriage, counseling can help you navigate your unique differences with healthy compromises without losing yourself. And as a certified Neurodiverse (ASD)/Neurotypical couples therapist with training through the Asperger/Autism Network (AANE), I am specially trained to help neurodiverse couples overcome problems and find acceptance for aspects of the relationship that they may not be able to change. I am also able to discuss issues related to intimacy and gender.
Many of the clients that I work with tell me things that have been pent up for years—and being able to release that energy without judgment is incredibly therapeutic. But learning about yourself, healthy relationships, and how successful partnering works gives you an awareness and knowledge that enables you to navigate future problems before they become unmanageable. And in the process, you can gain a greater sense of balance, appreciation, and peace in your relationships.
Chances are, you’ve already tried to express yourself repeatedly in different ways without being heard or interrupted. But just as some people may not know how to express themselves, some people don’t know how to listen and respond. Couples therapy gives you a voice that doesn’t get drowned out. And because I can act as a sort of referee, I can help keep the emotional impact at a minimum so that no one else gets hurt.
You can’t make people change or come to therapy if they don’t want to—but you can work on yourself. Developing a holistic understanding of yourself, your strengths and weakness, and areas in which you can and cannot be flexible promotes personal growth that transcends your relationship. And learning how to assert yourself and adopt compromise without sacrificing your own needs makes the relationship stronger. Over time, your partner may see changes in you that inspire them to join us after all.
Many people feel the way you do, but I assure you, you are not broken. If anything you are hurting, but that is why I am here. Whether you are a couple or an individual, counseling is really about healing the whole self, not just the relationship. To do that, we need to identify how you learned to connect with others by exploring relationships with friends, siblings, parents, and romantic partners—anything that may have laid the foundation for where you are today. Once we address those old wounds, you’ll realize that you are resilient and worthy of love.
Right now, you’re likely stuck in a cycle of arguments, frustration, and loneliness that you don’t know how to stop. But with my help, you can heal old wounds, grow closer to your partner, and safeguard your relationship. If you are looking for individual or couples relationship counseling in the Virginia, Maryland, or New Jersey area, please call 571-315-6471 for your free, 15-minute consultation.